Start of the End of the Delusion

Because I am uncertain about some people, I'll start with the uncertainty. Some people that base their life exclusively on rational thinking seem to be happy if everything in their physical world is alright. They also seem (to me, subjectively) to be somewhat cold, boring, lacking the spark of life. So it's a mystery to me. Are they happy? Are they only kidding themselves? I have no idea. So I leave them out of the equation. For the rest of you lovely people I have some certainties.

• There is a place where most of the experience takes place. It is the same place where you sometimes gather riches and sometimes you lose them. That is the place where you feel. Life is felt, experience is felt, we feel better or worse. That's where the important action takes place. Most of the time we ignore it but we never escape this consequence: what matters most from the experience is what we feel. What we feel matters most.
• Ironically, we put our attention where it matters least: money, what he said, what she said, success and failure and all kinds of external factors. What's better? Being happy and being poor or being rich and being extremely depressed? I think the choice is obvious. I also know that some part of you is saying "Happy and rich would be cool though...". The irony is:
• What you feel literally shapes your experience. So, feeling good would bring you money? Would it help you become what you always wanted to be? I have no idea. But I do know this. Happiness has a fucked up beautiful way of bringing into your experience things you need even if sometimes you had no idea you needed those things. It always fills in the blanks. You'll be surprised. Actually, if you're putting more attention on/IN the feeling itself, you may not even be surprised because the way you feel would matter so much more than the outer experience. You wouldn't even notice that something you always wanted, happened. Or you wouldn't even notice that what happened was EXACTLY what you needed. Because, everything comes so natural.

Boring but seemingly necessary convincer here:

Some people just didn't make the connections yet (how what you feel shapes your reality and how important your feelings are). Other people just can't make this a new way of life because they're still stuck with the old programmed beliefs. It doesn't matter if you understand and know, you'll still have a tendency to keep repeating old habits, even if they don't make sense anymore. Furthermore, they often slip unnoticed. And if you notice them, you'll have a way of convincing yourself that it's all justified.

I'll repeat some things and I'll repeat them often on this blog. 

• There's nothing that matters more to you than the way you feel.
• You'll have a way of convincing yourself (because of the old beliefs)  that still, the outer world matters.
• It does matter but much much much less than you believe. If looked upon with enough attention, it becomes extremely obvious. Remember about times when you got exactly what you wanted but still felt shitty? Remember how pointless the experience was without the good feelings?
• Ironically, feeling good makes you not need outer things but still brings the outer things.
• Also ironically, when you feel something to get something, it doesn't seem to work anymore because you're trying to cheat the uncheatable. Feeling something to get something is basically just trying to feel something and lying to yourself that you already feel it. You don't. If you would, you wouldn't need the outer stuff anymore (you would simply feel like you can happily live without it; it would be nice to have it but it doesn't matter if it doesn't come - that's what you think when you already have the feeling of the wish fulfilled)
• Feeling how you want is just about feeling how you want
• You feel how you want to feel just because you want to feel that way. Does it not make sense? It's a whole purpose in itself and one that requires creative work anyway so it's not boring, it's not a small purpose and it's the most constructive purpose you can have because it is the start of everything else.
• Stop giving so much fuck about exterior conditions and start giving at least 90% fuck about the way you feel. Why? Because it matters so damn much!!! And let's get real. What do you think you control more? Exterior conditions or interior conditions?
• When you start to get it and stop bullshiting yourself with things such as: that made me miserable, that made me happy, if I would have that I would feel that, if I would be happy but not have the money it would still suck, you'll be in for a few surprises

Surprises:

1. It's so easy to control what you feel.
2. WTF??? I can't control what I feel :(
3. It's sooooo hard.
4. There is this feeling that I keep coming back to (dominant vibration, frequency, feeling)
5. It's hard to change that dominant feeling

Notice how you feel as often as you can. You'll learn more than you can imagine. Effects:

• You'll start noticing some obvious connections between what you feel and what happens
• You'll start to see how your feelings affect your internal dialogue (and not viceversa). This internal dialogue is often times reffered to as "thinking". I think that thinking is something else but that's another story. We all call the internal dialogue thinking. Hmm...
• You'll see how what you feel filters your reality and you only see what resonates with what you feel
• You'll realize that you complain about stuff because you feel bad, you don't feel bad because you have stuff to complain about. You'll see that you appreciate stuff because you feel good, you don't feel good because you appreciate stuff. Basically, you'll see that because you feel a certain way, you focus on certain things. The illusion of "This is why I don't feel good" will start to fade away. You'll understand that if you feel depressed, it's because YOU ARE DEPRESSED. You'll start to simply get it that how you feel is because of how you feel. What you notice in your outer reality, what you think about it, what you complain about and everything else is a consequence of what you feel. Example: if I feel bad I'll say and believe that it's hard to get into the Music Business. Then I will start noticing how that makes me feel, then I'll think that this is what makes me feel bad (just because I did not notice the feeling before I had that negative thought). If I feel good I'll say and believe that it's easy to make it in the business because most mainstream "artists" suck, everything sounds the same and it's easier to get noticed when you create something original and put your heart into it and market it a little bit.
• You'll learn a thing or two about what changes your mood and how and why
• Best of all, you'll be amazed that such a simple exercise makes you so much more conscious, so much more in control, less of a drama queen or king. My advice: when you get to those points where you start feeling negative again, try to control it and can't, just observe it, be conscious and know what the consequences are. Being observant is best when all else fails. Failure is natural when you're at the beginning of your training. Remember this! Failure to comply will result in: resistance (internal tension, stress), possibly physical illness, becoming a victim, amplifying the negative feeling, falling back to being on autopilot, becoming unconscious again, getting back to that victim mentality, believing that the outer world makes you feel this and that and it's close to impossible to control what you feel.

Realize the incredible importance of your feelings. Put them at the top. Feel good, feel bad, feel whatever. What is important is to realize this inescapable truth:

I CARE MOST ABOUT THE WAY I FEEL. When I experience something, what matters most is HOW I FEEL. I desire things, I want to be things, I strive to do things just because I WANT TO FEEL GOOD.

The road to freedom begins...