If you could go back and change one thing in your life what would it be? inspired me to write this. My answer to that question is 'nothing'. I would not change a thing. I regret nothing. At some points in my life I was a convinced pessimist, filled with regret. At other points in my life, I was an optimist, but I still had regrets. Now there is nothing I regret.
Regrets consume you like cancer. They eat you from the inside. You may be aware of it or not. Regrets have no use, they do nothing good... NOTHING! If you get skin cancer, what do you do? You remove it. So why not do the same with regrets?
How do you do that?
You accept your past. Not accepting what you can't change is foolish. If you want to, refuse to accept your present situation. Refuse to accept your sadness, refuse to accept your poverty, refuse to accept the people that make you feel bad, refuse to accept your lack of purpose, refuse to accept anything you want to CHANGE NOW. But the past, you accept.
I remember how much regret I had when I hurt one girl I loved. It was consuming me, it was making me feel drained of life. I couldn't get over it and I was so sorry and felt so powerless. I just couldn't accept it, why did I do it, I wished I could change the past. But you can't. It finally hit me at some point that what is done is done and what I can change, I can change NOW. So I did that. And I was free of all the regret.
Some criminals turn themselves in. Why do they do that? Because they regret what they did and they accept they cannot change the past, but they can change the present. So they decide to accept the consequences of their actions. That doesn't mean that the action of turning themselves in is what sets them free. It is what sets them free that makes them accept to go to prison. If you are a good friend of mine and I hurt you in some way, I can't go back and change that. But I can do what is possible to set things right, NOW. Maybe that means to honestly apologize. Maybe it means to lose your friendship as I am not worthy. Maybe it means to let you do to me what I did to you. Whatever it is, something can always be done, on the inside and maybe also on the outside.
I do not know what would work best for you, it's your job to find that out. But what I know for sure is that Regret, really is Psychological Cancer. Realize it, believe it and get rid of it.
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